Sunday, May 16, 2010


Yesterday we were at Rovos Rail, a train company in Pretoria with a high polished, wooden Victorian feel. The event was the wedding of Matt and Joanne, a couple we've been walking alongside through a personalized marriage course.

Their nuptuals were beautiful, their families, warm, the venue spectacular. Every detail was perfect, in place and taken care of.

As with most events of this nature, the heart behind the event was to celebrate and support this young, beautiful couple starting their life together. To see them now, they are the most prepared, stunning kids in their twenties. They're successful, in love, and surrounded by support.

I met Matt's aunt and uncle, married 54 years. Jo's grandparents, in their 90's and still cute and in love.

Mario did the ceremony. He was witty, funny and handsome. Confident in a new role of a preacher/pastor, he effortlessly guided the vows, the scripture reading, the rings, etc. in a way that made me proud.

Twenty three years ago I made this walk with him. Things have not been easy. Years have a way of exposing truth, like how different you are, how you process stress, how you become more territorial and selfish of the things "he should know".... And with all of this said, Mario and I have experienced the 23 years as rich and exciting. The closest thing to heaven on earth.

We are not a perfect match. In the course that we guided Matt and Jo through, we scored very low. Our friends, John and Corrine (a definite perfect match) were shyly approaching the subject of "agreement" in fields such as "Lifestyle Expectations", "Friends and Interests", "Finances and Investments" carefully, as we seemed doomed...and headed straight for divorce (if you believe test results). It makes me laugh. In some things our thunder and lightning sessions (fights) are predictable and lame... and easy to agree about eventually.

Mario is a saver; I am a spender. Mario acts cautiously; I tend to be more impulsive. He is and introvert; I am an extrovert. He values privacy and room to think; I usually hate being alone except at the end of the day. Shall I go on?
Mario parents in boxes -- there are definite rights and wrongs. I want to know every square inch of my children's heads before I say what is right and wrong. Mario has no regrets about our parenting....

I love him. He is, in few words, the best guy I know. He loves me. I catch him listening to a story I'm telling and he's got a twinkle in his eye that can only come from admiration. He loves me... how? After all, I've had moments of tearing him to pieces and being a complete bitch... and he recovers and returns as my protector when I'm a little girl inside, crying hopelessly for my losses and failures and misunderstandings. There's an undeniable love he has for me that everyone can see... that I can see.

Yesterday, at the wedding, there was a cello and violin duo before the ceremony. At one point, from the lobby, involved in a deep conversation, I heard them play a tango. I smiled, thinking of the many tango lessons we've had... and I heard his voice (from the patio)say "Where's my wife?"

We danced in the lobby, a very brief dance... and I love him.

I love him, I love him.

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