Thursday, November 1, 2018


Lilli in my heart...

Lilliana Grace through the years.

Liliana Grace is our grandchild who takes everything in—like an artist.  I am her Abuela who takes everything in—like a writer.  I see Lilli when she doesn’t think I’m watching her, and vice-a-verse.  I like to think we understand each other, artist to artist, in a way that is unique and special.

Lilli has always been extremely artistic, winning awards for her paintings and drawings, but recently her art is taking on its own new, independent style.  She is almost to the point of not wanting to share something that isn’t ready, rather than sharing it too early.   She is a rather private person, thoughtful and pensive, with a wit that can rival anyone’s.

Today is Liliana Grace’s birthday! I will post this at two in the morning in California—after everyone has cleaned up the Halloween paraphernalia and gone to sleep—around the time she’ll be waking up, near Kansas City. 

About ten minutes before midnight (just before we were going to bed) our internet server went down.  Nothing in the house was working and I started panicking.

“Of course, this happens now,” I said to Mario. “Just before Lilli’s birthday! I have to post her birthday blog!”  

He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. It occurred to me that Lilli will probably not jump out of bed, grab her phone, and head over to Brazen Princess just to read this.  She might not even read it at all today—she’s now at the age where homework and YouTube commandeer most of her time.  

“Remember her as a little kid?” Mario asked me, smiling.  “Remember how I used to joke that she was my favorite?”

We remembered her together—our blonde, blue-eyed little girl who loved to draw and think of beautiful things in deep thoughts.  She screeched when she wrestled around with her siblings and built crazy things out of Legos.  She enjoyed stories I made up from scratch, and always wanted butterflies and unicorns in them.

The last time we were with her she told me all about twenty-one pilots (a band—who doesn’t capitalize their name because they’re too cool to do so—that is named after an obscure line from the Arthur Miller play, All My Sons) and Panic at the Disco (who actually writes really clever songs). She still drew and painted, but often worked in a book she didn’t show me. She was still the same, pensive, beautiful Lilli—but I longed to French-braid her hair and cuddle with her on the couch, like old times.

Lilli and her parents--with one of her award-winning paintings

Tonight, after I read in bed for a while, our internet connection was restored and I went to my computer to post this.  I added our memories of her—and realized that in less than a month I’ll see her again and we’ll make new memories. This makes me happy.

Today, Mario and I will call Lilli on the phone, sing happy birthday and hear all about how her Halloween was.  We will count our blessings, and talking on the phone to a grandchild is a huge blessing to a Grandparent!, my beautiful are another day older, not another year!  Love knows no boundaries—especially when the beautiful bridge of art can hold our hearts together. Our love has the power to skip over natural barriers as easily as stones skip over water.  Lilli, you are my grandchild, so I think of you every day, pray for you constantly, and carry you with me wherever I go.  Because you are so valuable to me, I want to learn more about you and find new reasons to love you.  So, when I see you, show me something you made with your new markers.  I can’t wait to see!

I love you!