Puleng, Martin, Me and Lindi Season 2, Episode 8 of Come Dine With Me South Africa Photo courtesy BBC Entertainment |
So I have sat and watched it twice now- my episode of Come
Dine With Me South Africa. My first
reaction now that it's over? “Wow! That’s
it?” I also had a whole bunch of friends
watch it with me and I think I paid more attention to the twitter feed than I
did to them – what kind of hosting is that?
Ha!!
I also am pretty mad at Dave Lamb right now, with his snarky
narration...but what was I expecting?
I guess after the rolls and rolls of film, I expected –
well, more. More show, more
reality...more of what really went on with the four of us. The four of us, as many of you have seen by
now was Puleng (Diva!), Lindi (Genius) and Martin ( ).
Martin’s parenthesis is left empty because that’s how well I knew Martin
after one week of hanging out and whooping it up. Nothing, nada, zero. That’s how much of himself he really shared
with us.
And he won.
As I said in the episode I am a pretty simple woman who is
here to love and serve God in any way I can in South Africa. I love South Africa – I love its people. My husband is a pastoral kind of guy, also
filled of love and fun. All that didn’t
make it into the episode...
When I first saw CDWM
I thought that it looked like a lot of fun...and I thought that I could
win. If you don’t know anything about
full time ministry, let me tell you that no one does it to get wealthy. All of our money is usually poured back to
others who have greater needs than we do.
So ten thousand rand is a hefty chunk of change! It could do a lot for our church, our
ministry and the people in the township.
I entered online, got interviewed and then was told (while I was
shopping) that I was going to be on the show.
I was excited!! I had no idea
what was in store for me....
Contrary to popular twitter posts, Puleng (or first host) is
not stupid – she’s amazing. When I read
the menu I honestly thought that with the pride in traditional food that it was
put together by a Xhosa man. When she
opened the door I thought: “Definitely not a man!”
To put a show like this together isn’t easy. It's filled with tiny nuances and surprising starts and stops. The first night is the hardest because
(honestly) you just want to get to the dinner party and let the games begin!
Puleng was a great host and she was attentive and served
some beautiful wines and champagne. She
is also incredibly beautiful up close.
At one point I had to apologize for staring at her. Honestly, I am a happily married woman...
Lindi is prettier than she appears on film -right away showed razor sharp wit and a speed of
communication that kept me on my toes.
During dinner I quoted William Shakespeare and Lindi quickly identified where it was from. She loves to stir, so a less
worthy opponent might feel intimidated, but I loved her immediately. She also has incredible, adorable fashion
sense.
Martin did not dress in traditionals and made no
apologies. At one point Puleng brought him a Springbok
jersey (quite hilarious) and told him if he wanted to dress like a traditional
white boy that he should do it right. It
was classic.
At the end of the night I went home almost falling asleep in
my taxi because it was 1:30 a.m.. All night long
I thought I cheated Puleng out of an 8 – but in the morning I realized that my score was
fair. After all, she was in the kitchen
a lot and seemed to have a cheat here, a cheat there. Nothing major, but just little stuff (I could
tell the spinach was store-bought).
Lindi hosted us next.
I’m going to say this loudly – and often. If I wasn’t going to win, Lindi should have
won. Her menu was ambitious and she pulled
it off. She also knew how to host a
party. Her house was a showcase of art
and she kept us all talking. We felt
much more comfortable with each other by the end of the night.
Lindi’s fish was overcooked – but that tamarind sauce on
top of it was FROM GOD!! I put the sauce
on everything, and if she would have left it on the table I would have put it
on my apple tartin. I have passionate
feelings about pastry, which is why she got an 8 instead of a 9. Her apples were perfect and I hope next time
she’ll think twice about shop-bought pastry. After all, she’s fabulous and
should be making her own fabulous pastry.
The only hostess to bother with fine details, Lindi provided
a masseuse, a cheese tray and an apéritif – a very expensive one. Truly a classy lady.
Martin hosted us next with quite an ostentatious menu. We all knew that his “Oh, I don’t cook,” act
was just that - Martin could cook.
I didn’t mean to be picking Martin apart on his night- the
way it came off on film was pretty funny, but edited to make it look like I
didn’t like him. I thought my story
about being adamant about the spelling of the Bering Sea was funny – even I
(from North America) got the spelling wrong.
Martin tried and succeeded in being genuinely a good
host. I thought he had a good shot at
winning simply because of the table he set - It was amazing! In between courses Martin made sure we had
drinks and still managed to serve nice, hot food (a feat of note with the way CDWM
is filmed).
His barracuda was
perfection. Brown and seasoned
perfectly, it fell apart against my knife and still tasted buttery and
gorgeous.
I don’t eat chocolate, so I didn’t eat Martin’s dessert. He
also said he was making a coulis, which wasn’t what the packaged fruit topping
was. It was unappetizing, but he had me
at the fish.
8 out of 10.
Still, if Martin would have shared just one iota of his
heart we all would scored him even higher.
Instead, Martin is now known as the shameless cheat who lied about making
his own cheese sauce. The night ended with a yawn.
The day I was supposed to host began with a power surge on
my property that blew out all of our electricity. I had no lights, plugs, etc., and the stellar
CDWM crew (in the most calm, cool and collected way) set up a generator that
would enable me to use my oven and my blender.
Also, because of this new twist, we
had to change a lot of things around, including the location of the piñata – we almost didn’t do it!
The whole power issue really mattered much more than what you can imagine, but I somehow managed to get
everything done that I was supposed to do, unless you count organization!! I was (understandably) flustered. Every question about my family brought me to
tears. At one point they asked me what I
would do with the money if I won and I just lost it, saying that the best prize
would be if my new friends came to church with me. It was a highly emotional day, and my nerves
were pretty raw.
By the time that Martin (my first guest) had come to my
door, I had barely gotten dressed (in the dark) and put on my makeup (I didn’t
blend my blush enough –many tweets pointed this out, just in case I missed
it).
Martin and I had a full Margarita before the rest of the
guests got to the party and I finally felt relaxed. This is when Martin did something that I
think was designed to sabotage my party – he told Puleng that I had
specifically requested “No talking about T and A”.
Know what? I didn’t!
This would have seriously hampered Puleng’s ability to relax. She is very tender-hearted and Lindi and I felt very protective of her (She really is adorable and tender and she came off looking like a fake diva...and she’s not). While I was greeting Lindi, I came out to the patio and could tell Puleng was upset – and didn't know why.
Know what? I didn’t!
This would have seriously hampered Puleng’s ability to relax. She is very tender-hearted and Lindi and I felt very protective of her (She really is adorable and tender and she came off looking like a fake diva...and she’s not). While I was greeting Lindi, I came out to the patio and could tell Puleng was upset – and didn't know why.
I think this was worse than lying about the cheese sauce.
You saw that Martin asked me why I didn’t say grace. I didn’t forget, and I don’t think I needed to
lead the group in prayer when we hadn’t prayed any other night! It would be kind of conceited for me to think
that I could force my guests into some kind of reverence for God. I didn’t think much of it, really. I love God but I hate religion and
pretentiousness.
I forgot the
guacamole. I forgot the palette cleanser.
I forgot to lay out a sufficient number of forks.... By the end of the night, I was
exhausted. The night was fun and my
party had gone really well (Martin even
said later that it was his favorite night).
But the scores reflect that I didn’t pull it off.
Want the truth? We
all cooked well. Puleng served up great traditional food and made us all feel
like friends on the first night. Lindi
executed a challenging menu to perfection, adding classic touches that no one
else thought of. Martin cooked – and well! And as
far as I am concerned, dear ones, I gave
it my whole heart preparing a meal for three beautiful people I wanted to love
with food.
If I had to do it all again, I would.
But this time, I would have gone and searched Martin’s
garbage with Puleng. I would have found the
fake cheese sauce. Then I would have scored Martin a 5 for lying
to his guests – in a cooking competition!
Buen Provecho! (That's bon apetit in Mexican...or Latino)
Buen Provecho! (That's bon apetit in Mexican...or Latino)
To see the BBC advertisement of this episode click here.
Janet, I so enjoyed this episode. It's a pity that Martin resorted to cheating though. And I LOVE your laugh!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteJenni~ Thank you for reading and your comment! Keep cooking and BUEN PROVECHO!!
ReplyDelete