Thursday, April 22, 2010
My life (if I had to explain it in an essay) is a contrast of two lives, my life of selfishness and my life of surrender. I wish I could say it was split in half down the middle, but it's not. I am far too selfish to be be completely surrendered. As Miracle Max would say, I am only "mostly dead".
The way I can illustrate this is to tell you of a typical day in my life:
1. Wake up after I sleep in (even my dog has had a potty break and returned to her bed next to me)and find Mario to hug him or find a note from Mario to tell me where he is.
2. Go get coffee -- drink it
3. Check email/facebook/blogspot
4. Try to reach the kids...or connect on facebook or instant messenger
5. Get dressed in workout gear
This is where my two worlds collide -- on some days, after I am dressed I head off to a church meeting, a prayer meeting, a meeting with someone who needs to talk, etc. These things are usually pretty cool. I love all of the morning activities. Then- GYM!!
After gym, I return home, make lunch, eat in front of a TV program and then head out for afternoon activities (Diepsloot, Fourways, Church, etc.) -- or I cook for us later or I cook for someone else. Evening activites require preparation. Marriage enrichment classes, prayer meetings, City Ministry group... return home. Glass of water with ice, wine, and check emails. Now...I blog. Unwind in front of TV, then off to read in bed. MOST of the time. Anything can throw this into disorder. Someone gets sick, someone needs help, someone is crying...a romantic night with Mario or a fight with Mario...
In the middle of my days, I work out to relieve physical stress and to maintain the fitness that full-time ministry requires. On some days I see Natalie, my personal trainer. I hired Natalie to teach me how to make strength training a part of my life. That was two years ago.
I have to tell you now that Natalie is as close to physical perfection of anyone I have ever seen, and I'm from California. Standing barely five feet tall, Nats has a every area of her body in lean, muscular sinews that look like a Leonardo daVinci sketch. Her small frame is tan and clad in gym chic, long black hair and blue eyes that beam with hunger and innocence at the same time. Over time, I have gotten to know her and yearn for her life to become whole by knowing God and feeling His love and calling on her.
Tuesday Natalie called me and sounded panicked. Her friends' new husband was admitted into hospital with a mystery ailment. He was in ICU and very much in danger. She said "I need you to pray."
I asked if I could call other friends to pray as well. She said yes, and I did, knowing that God heals...how much I had been healed of!! ...and secretly hoping that this would be one of the times he would reach out and miraculously heal, not wait.
The Wednesday morning prayer group I am a part of is quite amazing. Led by a little granny (her own description of herself) that wields power and creativity in prayer, it is attended by close friends who are all prophetic, prayerful and have faith for anything. It is my favorite meeting of the week. We all pray for Dylan...and Natalie. In this room, our prayers are powerful, sincere....
The next day I saw Natalie, who said Dylan was doing much better, and she thanked me for praying. I told her that many of our friends had been praying non-stop. The life of a person in relationship with God is always ready to witness healing miracles. She genuinely thanked me and asked me not to stop. She also was arranging an internist to look in on her friend.
Going out on a limb, I asked Natalie if Mario and I could pray over Dylan and his family. Natalie thought awhile and finally said "I can ask, but you know no one can see him except for his wife. Even I can't go in there." I nodded, and told her that we would be happy to pray just with his wife if she wanted us to. She said she would ask, then assured me that Mario and I would be the best choice she could think of to pray over him. I don't know why, but she has grown to trust our "spirituality" not to be too extreme, too over the top.
Physical healing is awesome. But prayer, transcends the physical. The power of prayer lies in the reality that we as people can connect with God Almighty...our creator and the sovereign One who holds us in His hands. Something beautiful in it is knowing that God hears us...and He answers.
Tonight I pray for Alicia, as always for physical healing. I pray for her to know God as HER God, and to trust Him for everything. I pray for Vince...that he be able to have victory in his life and be connected with God in a Father/son way. I pray for Patty, Colleen, Steve, Shari... their kids. My sweet Harmony, that I trust God to keep close to me when I am far away. My parents, my friends... How full is my heart of prayer...? There are no oceans or planets that could fit all I pray for.
He knows every word I will speak before any one of them come to be.