Lilli

Lilliana Grace
at Mahaffie’s Historic Stagecoach Stop and Farm in Olathe 

When you love someone, really love someone, you want to know everything about them.  This used to apply mostly to Mario – the love of my life –as I tried to learn everything about him in order to love him better.

The older I get, the more this principle applies to my grandchildren.  It is especially true for Lilliana Grace, my enigmatic granddaughter who is happier to observe most conversations than participate in them.  Because I want so very much to know her, I spy on her.  

To be part of her world, I have researched Josh and Tyler, watched several Jack Septic-Eye videos and know who segue-way Steve is.  I know which emojis describe her.  I know that she has incredible relationships with colors because she is an artist (and how she prefers to wear certain hues while she paints her room dark)  

Because I love her, I want to know everything about her.  

Beautiful Lilliana

The last time we spent significant time together (this past August), I figured out something else beautiful and significant about Lilli: she remembers things.  She can store  details and facts that “normal” kids forget. Random things that we heard in passing, or trivial details about a destination and kept track 

We took a trip to Mahaffie’s Historic Stagecoach Stop and Farm in Olathe on perhaps the most beautiful day of summer.  I sighed as we walked down to the coach.

“This is so beautiful, isn’t it?”  I motioned to the rolling sorghum fields, the red barn in the distance and the Poplar trees, whose leaves were blowing in the warm breeze. 

“Did you know that Olathe means ‘beautiful’ in another language?” Lilli asked, looking up at me. 

“Does it?” I asked, smiling.  The air was so warm and the sky was so blue and that day will forever be etched into my heart because Lilli glowed with summer as she told me. 

It turns out that Olathe does literally translate to “beautiful” in the Shawnee tongue.  When Dr. John Barton arrived in the spring of 1857,  the prairie was covered with verbena and other wild flowers. Barton asked his Shawnee guide how to say “beautiful” in his native language. The interpreter responded, “Olathe.”

Last Christmas!! Lilli in striped shirt in front

Because Lilli lives with her siblings (Max and Lauren) in Kansas and Mario and I live in California, our relationship is not the traditional Grandparent-grandchild type.  My own Grandma lived in the same city as I did as we grew up – she wore only dresses, didn’t drive a car, and hung her wash on a clothesline.  She baked cookies and sang songs in Spanish.  I loved her deeply and still think of her as a driving force in my life, an inspiration.  I want to be that kind of my Grandma to my Grandchildren, but today things are more complicated.  Lilli has four sets of grandparents – and we are the furthest away. 

But love knows no boundaries.  Love has the power to skip over natural barriers as easily as stones skip over water.  Lilli is in my daily prayers and I carry her with me wherever I go.  Because she is so incredibly valuable to me, I will continue to learn about her and find new reasons to love her.

Today, our Lilli will blow out candles on a birthday cake and the glow of her candles will light up her face like she lights up the world.

Happy Birthday, Lilli.  I hope you know that I do see you, even when you think I can’t, I do.  You are amazing, creative, brilliant, and loving.  I am so proud of you, honey.

 Oh! And BTW – did you know that your name, Lilliana means “beauty” in another language?  True story.  

Harmony

Selfie (taken by Harmony) at Caper Acres, Chico

Harmony has lights in her eyes that sparkle, like fireworks.  She is filled with curiosity and loves adventure.  

When she puts a puzzle together she concentrates with such intensity that she twists her mouth and purses her lips.  She glows with love asks me to cuddle with her as we read, which she does at a fourth grade level.  

She is friends with every kid in her first grade class, even the awkward ones that have trouble fitting in.  She is tender and gentle, fiercely protective of her sister and her mother.

Today she turns seven years old. 

“She’s amazing,” her teacher told me two weeks ago.  “Her reading level is definitely advanced, but she enjoys helping her classmates, which is what makes her special.” 

Daniel and Harmony with their new teachers!

Harmony loves her school experience and looks forward to going every day.  She seems to delight in every portion, especially her friends. Daniel, her bestie from kindergarten, is always by her side when I come to pick her up on Fridays. 

Because I am two hours away, our Fridays are spent at one of Chico’s picturesque parks, or its Gateway Science Museum, or visit an old fashioned Ice Cream Shoppe.  

Ice Cream cones!

We shop at local toy and game stores that carry American-made toys and stuffed animals.  We go to the Library and look at new quilts hanging on display and then read a book or two.  Fridays with the girls are relaxed, sweet times.

Back at home, Harmony and I cook together.  She loves to cook, just like her Mama did at her age.

Making Tacos

“Grandma,” she sighs.  “I just love you.”

On Fridays, my world is filled with life.  I am grateful that I get to be engaged in this little person's life, someone who is joyful and loving.  How was I ever able to inherit such joy?  I love this girl so much… she is solid gold!

Happy Birthday, Harmony!  I am so proud of you!!

Scarlett

Scarlett Star
One Year Old

Scarlett Star was a princess before she was even born. 

She took her time entering the world – her mother labored for 36 hours before she emerged.  Once I was allowed to hold her, I could see that   she was everything we had prayed for.  From the moment she was born she was bright, attentive, satisfied with her surroundings.  For the next week and a half, I took turns with Dad and Mom, being the safe and awaiting arms that held the new baby. 

I thanked God I could be part of this baby’s birth.  After all, only a year before Mario and I had been residing on the African continent; now I could not stop holding her, loving her…thanking God that I was there for her.

Today that baby is ONE YEAR OLD. 

In one year, Scarlett has turned into a happy toddler, literally toddling around and keeping her parents busy.  She walks, dances, laughs out loud and eats her meals with quiet confidence.  Her vocabulary has expanded quickly; words, like “Mama” “Dada” “no” “uh-oh” and “Boo-no” (for the family dog, Bruno) comes out of her with delicate and deliberate cuteness.  

She is becoming more social; touching the screen every time we SKYPE, putting her face closer to mine. She is also starting to understand what Vince and Rikki are saying to her, and using her new words to get their attention. 

Sometimes when I call, my daughter-in-law will tell me that our little princess is  “being a brat” – meaning that she is testing her limits.  Even when she does, Scarlett realizes right away that Mama and Daddy stand firm and that those limits don't change.  Even so, on most days life is pretty sweet.

There are few things more beautiful than new life.  Children give a family identity, renewed purpose and love.  Like a breath of fresh air, children give us their eyes and perspective to see, which grown-ups greatly need.  Each day I thank God for my granddaughter; I pray that this little person be protected and nurtured by God. 

Today, I celebrate her.  She is our little sweet pea – our jewel.  I love her and she knows it- even across the miles.  Happy Birthday, Scarlett.  You are truly a little Princess.

Harmony

Harmony
September 2014

Harmony will be five years old, meaning that she is filled with beauty and wonder and curiosity. On our “nature walks” (so named by her) she picks up items that we find and asks questions about them. Once we get home, she glues them to large pieces of paper and proclaims them to be her "work paper".  Her collages are starbursts of pine needles, leaves, pieces of pine cones and a red signature at the top: HARMOnY.

The collages will be with me at the moment of my death – that’s how embedded in my heart they are – that’s how important they are to me. 

Born on September 27^th, 2009 - surrounded by love and expectation, Harmony didn’t breathe for her first minutes of life.  We watched, helplessly as doctors massaged her little body and I prayed for the Spirit of the Resurrection to breathe life into her.  When she finally took breaths and became rosy, we all breathed sighs of tearful relief and took oodles of pictures of her.  We haven’t stopped;  Harmony has to be the most photographed child in the world.

Harmony learned to crawl and then walk; make sounds and then talk; and finally call us Grandpa and Grandma – all while we were in Africa.  When we returned to the USA, Harmony was filled with love and joy that we were home.  It took a year of once a week visits before she stopped asking when we were flying “home to Africa.”

These once a week visits to Chico have been wonderful – all filled with the life that is found in a home of small children.  My daughter warns me (as I warned my own mother) to follow her rules with them and not spoil them.  I try my hardest, but it is a feat of note.

She loves to dance, sing, play games, dress up, talk to strangers (like her mother), play with kids her age (my friends!), and most of all - be read to.  My absolute favorite thing is savoring books that I used to read to her mother as we sit against her bed.  As we marvel at the words and illustrations, she finishes the sentences, just like her mom used to. 

“Oh, Grandma,” Harmony will say spontaneously, during our together times.

“What, honey?”  I’ll ask her.

“Oh, I just love you so much.”

That last part is said in her voice which I will never be able to capture with words, no matter how great of an artist I am. 

The love and joy she brings to our lives is irreplaceable and my heart is swollen at the thought of her.  Happy Birthday, Harmony – you are one in a gazillion.

Laila

When you name a child, it begins as an idea in your head.  By the time it is associated with a person, that person is a baby that you are just getting to know.  As a grandparent, we have watched six children receive names from the heads of our own children – names that now flood us with emotion and images of a granddaughter.

Our first grandchild is Laila Willow.

Can I say that again?  Laila Willow – Laila Willow – Laila Willow.  There has never been a name so well suited to a child that I can think of - although I didn't always think this way.  Hearing it from David for the first time made me choke on a cracker. 

“Laila Willow Rodriguez?” I asked David over the phone (I have never been able to mask my surprise or disapproval well). 

“Yeah,” I could hear him smiling on the other end of the phone.  Either that or he was rolling his eyes.

“Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it?”

“Janet…” Mario warned me from the extension.  He is very good at accepting news – even when his first grandchild was going to be given a hippy name in front of our traditional Spanish surname.

“It’s beautiful,” I finally corrected myself.  “I’m sure it will grow on all of us.”

Laila was born on the 30th of August, a day that changed my life. 

“Things will never be the same for us,” I whispered to Mario as we went to bed that night.  We kissed, and I felt very lonely for her.  She was born in Kansas City and we couldn’t afford the trip out to see her.

By the time I saw her in person (thank God for email and the power of digital photography) she was already walking.  She had the biggest green eyes I had ever seen and they were carefully watching me as she clung to her mother as they got off the airplane. 

“Can I hold her?” I asked, extending my arms.  Laila objected, shrinking back into Lennae. 

“Maybe later,” Lennae said.  “That was the worst flight.  I need a drink!”

We talked about their flight from hell as we drove home, Laila observing me with her huge eyes, not speaking at all. 

Later that visit, she finally warmed up to me.  She liked things like frozen blueberries, bubbles and hiding in the curtains.  She was a sheer delight and as soon as she spoke, I dropped everything just to hear her voice.  I cannot tell you how it affected me, other than to compare it to an adolescent obsession I had with the Bay City Rollers. Every time she spoke, I froze and listened closely, my heart in my throat.

She grew into a precocious girl, speaking in whole sentences and proving herself to be a brilliant thinker.  She became a great big sister to Lili and Lauren, who followed closely behind her, having a perfect balance of protective-ness and antagonism.  Early on we noticed an unusual genetic disposition to tell very corny jokes (just like her father) and we laughed that he would have to endure all of the corn we did as parents.

While we were in Africa, she entered school, made BFF’s, learned a musical instrument and became quite accomplished at gymnastics.  Now, when we talk on the phone she is always busy with a new hobby or business idea.  She is (honest to God) the most precocious child I have ever met in my life.

Today she is eleven years old. Whoever said “time flies” must have had grandchildren. 

I still remember the magical day she said my name.  We had been outside, blowing soap bubbles while her mother snapped pictures of us.  As the sun went down, I went upstairs to go to the bathroom.  As I ascended the stairs, she followed me.  

She turned to her mother and said, “Where is Abuela going?” 

I stopped where I was and my heart melted.  I didn’t care what happened in my life after that – my granddaughter called me Abuela.  It was like a bolt of sugary lightning that made my whole being feel loved. I was a grandmother to this wonderful little person! 

I admit, I still haven’t gotten over it. 

Happy Birthday, Laila Willow.  Your name is the perfect explanation of you - you are unique, solid and beautiful.  Everyday when I count my blessings, you are right there -a breathtaking picture of how much God loves me.  I love you so much, honey.